And he's off....

It's 4:40 am, and M just took off on the bus to get on a plane to Iraq. M, Barrett, and I went on post at midnight so that he could draw his weapon. Then, we all just hung out at the gym with the other families until 4 when they kicked the families out. Barrett was asleep, but I went around the side and watched M one last time as he filed out the door and into the bus. It's surreal. I think I am still numb. I initially cried a little when we first parted ways, but dried up quickly. I feel okay now. I just worry so much about him. I know he has to be torn up. It's such a scary thing to be going there anyway - and it's been so long since he has done anything like this. Plus, he has to leave me and his little baby behind.

I have been tossing around myself that I would like to rejoin the Guard - in fact I even went, signed, and swore in, but I pulled out at the last minute. I do miss it, but tonight I decided there was no way I can do it. It's hard enough to leave your spouse, but I could NOT leave my son. There's no way in the world. Speaking of my angel, he did really well tonight. He went to bed at 4 pm (he's been sick), and we woke him at 11:30 pm to go on post. He went back to sleep until about 2, then woke up for a while and is sleeping again. I couldn't ask for a better baby.

Well, I haven't slept yet, so I'm going to try to get a couple of hours - I plan on going to work later.

Oh, by the way, I have the best husband in the world, and I am going to miss him terribly. However, I know we have a great relationship, and there is something calming about being able to trust your spouse while he is that far away.... it's really nice. :)

-Lu