Priorities.

It has become apparent to me that many adults seem to have their priorities all messed up. Now these adults are mostly in their 30s, but that's the only group I have to judge b/c they are the ones I work with and encounter on a day to day basis. I went to pick bar up from school on Friday, and noticed that a woman in a Mercedes pulled in right before me. I walked in and got my son, and she was by her car when I got back out to mine. She had a little girl just a little older than my son. Of course my son and I were joking and laughing all the way to the car - the usual. I got there, put him in his car seat (that has crackers in it), strapped him in, gave him his computer toy, and handed him some banana cookies. (I have noticed that he gets really mad if I pick him up without food - he is hungry.) My car isn't as clean as it could be although I clean it out every weekend. It has clothes and his shoes and toys and sippy cups - and of course extra water, pedialyte, toys, diapers, wipes, and other stuff just in case. All of a sudden the woman in the benz asked me if I could help her w/ this car seat. I told her sure - as soon as I get this bottle made (my son comes first). I overheard her telling her daughter that she has crackers for her at home. I told the woman that the girl is welcome to some of bar's banana cookies if she would like. The woman said, "She doesn't need ANYTHING in THIS car..." Then, I proceeded to go over and show her how a child's carseat straps into the seat. It wasn't even attached right, and I told her that she needed to remove the seat in order to tighten the straps and properly secure her child. She said, 'oh, she'll be fine for now', and shut the door. This woman's priorities were ALL JACKED UP. First off, why do you own a mercedes if you are going to have a baby. If you actually could afford a mercedes and weren't living out of your means, you wouldn't CARE if he got it messy. Also, did you not bother to read the instructions on how to strap in your child?? It doesn't take an engineer to master a car seat for God's sake - not to mention how did she get her to school that morning in the first place? You can guarantee that she made time to clean her car that day - it was spotless... grrrr.

Second example - someone I work with. She is so dang picky about everything - her nails weren't done perfectly, she doesn't like lotion with mineral oil - has to make her own, she must match her handbag to her shoes and clothes, owns 2 vehicles for herself, etc. However, do her kids have college funds? She gives them money to spend on hair weaves, clothes, shoes, purses, etc, but how are they going to school? Why do they not yet have THEIR licenses? They don't have jobs, they have no motivation. Then she wonders why her son doesn't care about school, doesn't have motivation to go to college.... I want to remind her that she had him at 18 and didn't have a day of college either. Kids imitate what they see. If you are too busy buying handbags and doing your nails but you show up to work 30 min late EVERY day, take long lunches, make other people late, call in for no reason, and never take classes for school - um, duh, they will do the same.

Another - I tend to take my son to the pool on the weekends and to the park at least twice a week. You know how many kids I see who are like 3 and entering the water for the first time? Or kids are running at the pool, causing trouble, hanging on rails, being rude - and they are like 7. Where are their parents? Do you get lazy by the time your kids are that age? Why are you not playing with them? And these are the same folks who look down on mothers who work and aren't at home - saying someone else raises our kids. No, we may just no have as clean of a home as we wish or our vehicles may not be perfect, but you know what? We are spending that time PLAYING with our kids! My father always comments that my son is the most intelligent baby he's ever seen - and I do think he's smart. However, it's because I actually interact with him. I tell him what a tree is, what a dog is - he knows the difference b/w a horse, a dog, a cat. I read with him, and we play. No one could ever say they are closer than my son and myself - stay at home mother or not.

The other priority that kills me is people with their spouses. My girlfriends are constantly saying how NICE I am to my husband - 'Oh, you are so good, there's no way I would take that much time to do that' or 'No way I was ever that sweet to my husband'..... right, well that is why you are on your third husband. I actually married mine b/c I love him, and I will work hard to maintain the marriage. I didn't go in with false hopes that it would be a fairy tale and just be magical. NO, marriages are work - you are in a relationship with ANOTHER PERSON, not an extension of yourself. Your spouse has thoughts and feelings and makes mistakes like a human being. Please understand that and quit giving up just because it isn't perfect every moment. You know why? Because when you do, you ruin that person for the next spouse. We forever have to make up for the fact that you were a terrible wife/husband. I see it with women whose husbands are deployed. They will put so much effort into impressing other men while their husbands are gone - well, if you put a little bit of effort into supporting your husband, maybe your marriage would make it.

Okay, I think I'm done with my rant for tonight. I just get really sick of people - especially those in their 30s. My husband is in his 30s, and I love him to death. It seems to be more women in their 30s. It's like they are 'grown' but haven't quite figured it out yet. A lot of them are lazy and trying to relive their younger days again. I get so sick of them saying how young I am, too - well, I guess that's why age and wisdom are not synonymous.

-Lu